Raise Your Hand If You Have Been Personally Victimized By College

I don’t know about you, but the day we pick out our class schedules is the most important and most stressful day of the whole semester. Even more stressful than finals.

In my college we pick our schedule according to our average, so the most intelligent people choose early, and the lazy ones (like me) pick in the afternoon. I hate this system. If you don’t get excellent grades you don’t get a good turn to pick your schedule; and if you don’t get a good turn to pick your schedule, you can’t pick a class with a good professor, which means you’re gonna get poor grades AGAIN!

So how does this ritual start?

At least a week before the day you enroll, you research which professors are going to teach each class and at what time. You consider all of your options, you have many requirements. You need to be able to:

  • Wake up late and leave early
  • Be with the best teachers on the subjects you like
  • Be with the easy teachers in the subjects you hate
  • Be with the relaxed and good-willed professors on the hard subjects
  • Have at least one class with your friends/crush
  • Be on a nice and ventilated classroom

Then it’s time to make a mock schedule, this is were trouble starts. You realize one of your courses has only one option and the class is twice a week from 7:00-9:00 pm. You suffer, you wanna cry, you eventually get over it. “Leaving late is not that bad, I can handle it” you tell yourself. You proceed to the next class. F*ck! The same day as the previous one but from 7:00-10:00 am. That means you’re gonna have to be ready at 7 in the morning and won’t be able to leave college till 9 o’clock at night! This is the moment where you actually cry. After some time you get over it and realize all of the other classes are not that bad.

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You complete your mock schedule. You choose the classes that best fit your requirements, but then you pick other alternatives in case you can’t enroll on those classes. Your schedule is looking worse every time, you panic. The following 7-10 days you have stomach ache and a headache. The day before making your schedule you are a complete mess, you can’t even sleep. The next day will determine the next 6 months of your life.

When you wake up you think “Today is the day”, you are a nervous wreck. You can´t even have breakfast. Then, the worst part begins. All of your intelligent friends start sending you their gorgeous schedules. They post them online, they text you, the e-mail you, you think they’re stalking you. They tell you “Send me your schedule” but you haven’t even done it yet, and you need to wait at least a couple more hours to do it. You are jealous, you hate them, you decide to turn off your phone and computer to avoid listening to them.

It’s almost time, in 10 minutes you’ll be able to select your classes, there are terrible thoughts on your mind. Will my class be full? Is my professor gonna be good? Will I even have time for lunch? Your hands are shaking, your stomach hurts.

You sign in. You select your classes, you are able to get some of your best options. You finish. Your schedule is not that bad, you feel relief. But then you think “Am I really enrolled, what if the system failed?” You pray that you are really enrolled in all of your classes. It’s finally over, you can rest, but still you feel stressed out, and you’ll feel that way the rest of the day.

It’s hard to get a good schedule, college is hard, life is hard.

The final step is saying “I hate going through all this stress, this semester I’m gonna get better grades so I can choose my schedule early and get the best teachers and classes” You are kidding yourself, next semester will be the same.

I love college.

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